Megali - adjective, noun - adjective 1. great or big in Greek -noun 1.. A nickname derived from my first and middle names

Friday, June 3, 2011

Tampons Aren't Toys Boys

I never imagined I'd utter those words.  But that's one of the joys oddities of motherhood, I suppose.  And being a mom of boys?  I'm not one to put too much stock in gender roles, but I admit I wonder if I'd say the same things if I had girls.  Well, obviously they wouldn't have the same genitalia!  So, that'd be different.  Beyond that though, who knows?

The things that I've said recently:

- Only our pets lick our faces
- Your penis is not a hanger - get the ________ (fill in the blank here, usually a toy, sometimes a piece of food - Curly is a total nudist and likes to see if things will stay on it!) off it
- Don't take off your diaper just to pee/poop on the floor!
- Yogurt is not finger paint
- The water in the bath is not for drinking
- Don't lick it either!

And my two favorite recent stories:

- At bedtime last night, we got to discussing farts.  Don't ask me how it happened because I don't know.  What I do know is that I have an inner twelve year old boy and the day that farts and burps stop being funny is the day I will officially feel old.  So we're talking farts, when suddenly Curly farted intentionally and said, "Fart on Mama.  Ha ha."  Literally, the kid says, "Ha ha" when he's being funny or teasing.  I wasn't aware that two year olds could fart on purpose.  Or find it amusing to fart on someone.  Nothing better than ending your day laughing at bedtime!

- Thanks to coupons and sales, I had the chance to stock up on pads and tampons.  I got lots of the new U by Kotex.  I'm kinda meh on them, but that's not relevant to the story.  What is relevant is that they've attempted to make feminine products "discreet" (seriously, picture me heavily exaggerating the air quotes rather sarcastically) by making them bright and colorful.  They're really meant for first time and young period havers, hence the "fun" packaging.  Whatever.  Well, turns out the bright and colorful packaging is fun.  For little boys.  Who, because you no longer have a bathroom cabinet thanks to flooding, are able to easily access your toiletries that are temporarily stored in little buckets on the floor.  And apparently hot pink, neon green, mustard yellow, and electric blue tampons are supremely eye catching.  And once they are removed from the packaging?  Watch out!  A young kid will figure out how to depress the plunger and shoot their brother in the eye.  At which point I walk in (at what age can I leave them alone for five minutes without having to deal with things like this!?) and immediately yell, "tampons are not toys boys!"


  1. Hmmm, things I've said to A lately:
    We don't lick the bottom of our shoes!
    Don't drink out of the dog dish!
    Why would you put your baby doll in the oven?
    Pancakes are not tasty frisbees!
    Your diaper does not double as a fanny pack!

    Sooo, I'm not sure having a girl would find you saying less crazy things to your kids...;)

  2. I knew the answer couldn't be so easy!:)

    And this: "Why would you put your baby doll in the oven?" had me rolling! I'm glad that the way our kids treat their toys isn't indicative of future sociopathic behavior. One second the boys can be "nursing" a stuffed animal and then, yup, in the oven!